The Clownish Life

Once in marketplace on a sultry May Saturday afternoon ‘Clown’ happened to meet Life in a book shop. Clown was searching for some fiction to tickle her creative mind and Life stood quietly in a corner in one of the aisles. At first Clown did not recognize her being their first close encounter. She looked like any middle aged woman but something about her bewitched the Clown completely. What it was Clown could not contemplate? With long silky tresses, big black eyes, glowing skin, childlike smile and an enigmatic aura about her she captivated Clown’s attention like a Bollywood heroine just out from a Yash Raj romantic flick. Clown soon noticed that it was not just Clown who was fascinated by her but there were few other ‘Gentlemen’ who looked enamoured. While Clown was still wondering whether to go to her and start a conversation one of the gentle men wasted no time and began flirting with her. She stood there motionless as if slyly smiling inside her bosom, as if mocking at him and asking him to stop fooling her. There was absolutely no emotion from her side and she moved ahead to the next aisle as if avoiding this gentle man. Clown was a mute witness to this entire event.

Life had barely managed to reach the next aisle another gentle man followed her. He seemed to be a known figure of the town and inquired as to who she was. Since this gentle man was high and mighty Life was a little scared. Out of reverence for his position in society she introduced herself in a feeble shaky voice and left in a jiffy. Moving on to the next aisle this Semi-God followed her and soon they both started conversing. Life realized she had a lot to learn from him. Thoughts, intellect, humour, creativity, likes, pains, stress, spirituality and yes sometimes love; they both exchanged what each felt for the other. It looked like the most perfect of bonding in such a small interval of time. To Clown they looked absolutely weird. Best friends forever that is how they described their relation. Clown left after sometime although she was quite enjoying their talks since Clown had a show in the evening.

Next week Clown again visited the book store this time for something on mythology. Clown could not understand her obsession with mythology, spirituality and philosophy since childhood. The unknown world beckoned to her more than the known. For some unknown reasons Clown felt more comfortable in the warm friendly arms of strangers than the cold strange hugs of friends. As Clown wobbled into the welcoming aisles she was pleasantly surprised to see Life standing right there in front of her. This time Life didn't look that attractive. There was sullenness about her. Her long tresses looked less silky, the big black eyes were a little less black, the glow of the skin had diminished, the smile had lost child-like innocence but she still held on to her enigmatic aura. What surprised Clown was that this time Life was staring straight into her. Clown noticed Life ambling towards her and in a second she was gazing at Clown with an intensity that shook Clown’s soul. There were questions she had for Clown.

Why was Life asking Clown questions? Who was she to ask her anything? What did Clown owe to her? Life gave her nothing. They didn't even know each other. But Life was adamant. She wanted answers. Clown asked Life to accompany her to the Circus Arena for a cup of coffee so that Clown could get a chance to at least know who she was. With a little hesitation Life agreed. In the next fifteen minutes they were sipping Irish coffee. Ah, the aroma of the place mesmerized Clown. The Amphitheater with its events added more excitement to the already hot Cup of Coffee. But Life was too persistent. Without wasting any time she introduced herself and described the various orgies of her lifespan. She had had quite eventful experiences. She had innumerable laughter but there were countless tears. She had moments of peace but stress had been the constant demon. Love filled the joyous hues but hatred and neglect made many wounds. Cheaters there were many and she still looked for loyalty and togetherness. Definitions changed with time so did people. Strangers became friends and friends turned strangers in the wink of an eye. Why yes why Life asked the Clown. But Clown stood confounded and bewildered.  Why was Life asking Clown all these questions? Where was Clown’s stake in all this? What was Clown’s responsibility? How was Clown answerable to Life? Before Clown could speak anything to Life she probably understood Clown’s dilemma. Life kept looking deeply into Clown’s eyes as if challenging Clown to look back at her. For once Clown too gathered courage and looked straight into hers. What Clown saw in her eyes took the very breath out of her. Clown felt being thrown down from a cliff. Like somebody hit Clown hard in the safest vaults of her heart, like the waves of the sea slithered underneath Clown’s feet taking away the sand and leaving Clown fumbling for grip. Clown saw her own reflection. The questions were her own. The persistent stubbornness for answers was her own. The echoing laughs her own, the painful tears her own, friendly strangers her own and strange friends too were her own. Life was asking for answers and Clown had none… Clown stood numb gazing at the void that lay in front of the Circus Arena hoping one day Life shall have her own answers….