Reflective Index

“The mirror never lies”, so it is believed. It reflects what is positioned in front of it. But suppose somebody artificially created something and then placed it in front of the mirror, what is the end result? The true reflection or the desired reflection of artificiality?

Many times we all are at cross roads. Cross roads compel us to be decisive no matter we like it or not. We have to decide. But is decision making such an easy process? There are enumerable factors to be considered, the pros and cons, subjectivity, objectivity, emotions, relations, near and dear ones, the not so near and dear ones, its overall impact …..Here one is pushed into thinking why one is where one really is.

Self reflection automatically comes into play. We start looking for answers to several perturbing questions. In the process of finding answers we encounter more never explored questions pertaining to our life. Its like opening a Pandora's Box. You are searching for something and you get your hands on something else which you had forgotten ever existed. This leads to a travail of other questions. In the hunt we actually forget what we had started to search at first place. So is this complex web….

The beneficial outcome of this is we realise that what we are today is a culmination of various activities we performed in this play of life. Various roles we delivered, some successfully others lamentingly bad. Some with utmost sincerity others with farce. Some that gave happiness to others and others that gave perpetual pain and sorrow. In the drama of things other characters too had  similar roles and impact on us. Those we thought were ours disappointed us to the hilt and those we thought had no place in our lives gave us peace beyond words.

Why do we fail to perceive people as they are good as good and bad as bad? Why do we fail to give importance to those who are here to play important roles in our lives and ignore those who will only give pain? Has this been done intentionally by the Director of this play? Why do we have to learn lessons the hard way? Why is the script open ended?

The answer probably is that that is the beauty of life. It is here that lies the mystery, curiosity and urge to lead our lives. Only outlines are provided we have a choice to fabricate a circle, square, cube ,rectangle, triangle etc out of these lines. We create squares expecting the outcome to be a circle and this trial and tribulation continues through out the journey. It is only through wrong creations that we realise what corrective measures to be taken to get the outcome of our expectations. But hold, the Director also intervenes several times and throws pleasant surprises at us. A gentle breeze that blows through our hair on a sweaty summer noon, the warm sunbeam on our shivering skin, the cool refreshing rain drops on a wounded soul, friendly smiles to a broken heart and helping hands when there was none.

Reflection is the antidote for all sufferings. We must reflect on our lives as often as we can. This self reflection helps us to have a flash back of this journey. We conclude what we did and what we should have done. This helps us to elevate ourselves to a higher plane. It acts as a guard for our future course. We may not be able to be in complete control of life but definitely we can make amends. We can make an effort not to repeat the same kind of mistakes. Whatever we do make sure that in the end the scenes put together make a story worth telling!

The Muddle of Life

The Muddle of Life

The thirst for knowledge they say is unquenchable.This thirst makes you feel like a traveller stranded in a desert….Desert which is surrounded by oceans of books, literature and texts.You may ignore this thirst for sometime but it is difficult to never realise it at all….And once you realise it, it makes you restless.You feel so ignorant, so uneducated, so helpless.The search for knowledge makes you feel like a wanderer who is on the path to destiny without knowing what the destiny is, where it lies.The path to knowledge gives so much satisfaction..You feel one with the universe, one with its every particle created by the Almighty….You realise that you are a mere speck in the vast galaxy, a mere iota…..

In our ignorance we create illusions about ourselves. “We are scholars in our field”, there cannot be bigger  mirage than this. We are so engrossed in our daily struggle for existence our family, our work, our friends that we forget why we are here. To complete the circle of life, very definitely yes. But in our struggle lets not forget to discover and explore our selves. We may say that the fight for survival leaves no room for anything else. But is that really so? Is that all this life has to offer to us?

The answer is NO! life throws a lot of things at us and we pick and choose our own gifts. During our entire journey from infant to child to teenager to adult we keep accumulating what we should infact be releasing. The pains, sorrows, grudges, loneliness, deceit, cheatings, wounds are all gathered by us and kept within us in safe custody. We refuse to let go………

And when we are so piled up as individuals can the universe be at peace. No, definitely not. We then complain that there is so much violence and bloodshed in the world. Nothing seems to be at peace…but how is this possible? We all are the particles that complete the Universe. When the parts are not in harmony how can the whole be at peace?

Peace and serenity can be ushered in by raising our selves to a higher level of consciousness. Forgetting all the past experiences and aiming for what we want, treading on the path to self realisation. The first step in all probability is the path of knowledge. The Higher Powers have intentionally created a void in our souls and sent us here. Our utmost objective should be to fill that void with something that is meant for it. And if we put a sincere effort to ask ourselves what it is, the answer no doubt is Knowledge………….

The Hearty Heady conversations

We all have had those perplexing moments when the Heart says one thing and the Head says just another. The body seems to be like a State where the Head and Heart are at Civil war with each other. But war it is and in either case the State consequently suffers. Where does it all begin and end? Yes, I mean the civil war.

When a Child sees a Chocolate:

Head: No Baby, you cant have this! You have already gulped in a dozen. Mamma wont agree to this.

Heart: Go on…its just a chocolate….one more will do no harm and then no one is watching. So quick!

And the innocent child gives in to the temptation. Looks left and right, unwraps the chocolate and in a jiffy the chocolate is done. Aah!

When a Teenager sees a beautiful Damsel:

Head: No Teens, you cant look at her like this! She is your best friend’s girl. He wont agree to this.

Heart: Go on….its just a harmless glance…one more will do no harm and then no one is watching.And yes, you know how innocent your friend is.So quick!

And the servile teenager gives in to the temptation. Looks left and right, focuses better and in a jiffy the complete body X-Ray is done. Aah!

When a Twenty something sees a Bottle of liquor:

Head: No, Tweens, you cant have this! You have already quenched two pegs. Your parents wont agree to this.

Heart: Go on…its just a drink….one more will do no harm and then parents are not home. They will never know. Your friends are all on the binge. And yes, your buddy will drive you home back safely. So quick!

And the spirited tween gives in to temptation. Looks left and right, slurps the watery tongue and in a jiffy the peg is done. Aah!

When a Thirty something sees a friend’s Merc:

Head: No, Man, you cant be spitting inside the car! You have gutkha in your mouth. Your friend wont agree to this.

Heart: Go on…its just a spit…one will do no harm and then no ones watching. It can be cleaned easily. And then you wont open the window glasses and let the polluted air in. So quick!

And the concerned  friend gives in to temptation. Looks left and right, thooooooooo and in a jiffy the spit is done.Aah!

When a Forty something texts an independent woman employee:

Head: No, Bloke, you cant be texting her! You have a wife, two kids. Even SHE wont agree to this.

Heart: Go on…its just a simple text…one will do no harm and then no one is watching. You can always delete it. And yes you are not cheating, it’s a friendly text. So quick!

And the friendly Boss gives in to temptation. Looks left and right, Presses Send….and in a jiffy the text is done. Aah!

When a Fifty something sees a Child’s future:

Head: No, Man you have to save for the education of your child. She wants to pursue higher studies abroad. You cant buy an expensive i-phone for yourself. This money will go for the policy.

Heart: No, you cant buy i-phone. You want to fulfill your child’s dreams. Policy is important and then your Nokia is doing just fine!

And the caring Parent gives in to temptation. Looks left and right. Leaves the shop when no Sales person is watching. And in a jiffy the policy premium is done.Aah!

When a Sixty something sees a Child married:

Head: No, my child will definitely take care of me with my Bahu. They understand how much I have done for them.

Heart: Definitely yes, He is my son. He will love me even more now since I am retired. He knows I need him more now.

 And the emotional Father gives in to temptation. Looks left and right.Leaves his own house for the son’s only to be sent back soon by the Obedient Son and Bahu. And in a jiffy the tears are done. Aah!

When a Seventy something sees grand children:

Head: No, old man, they are better than even you. They sure are a genius. They love you and will  come for the Diwali Vacations.

Heart: Very Sure yes, they are my grand children. They love home food, crackers, the roses in my garden and the big lawn. They will come.

And the teary eyed grand father gives in to temptation. Looks left and right. Leaves for the market and on the way gets a call that no one is coming. They are going to Disney World instead. And in a jiffy the tears and emotions are done.Aah!

When Eighty something sees loneliness:

Head: No, old haggard, they will not come. They are busy. Office, children, home, malls…who has the time.

Heart: Very sure, no they will not come. They love their friends, Movies, Foreign trips. Who has time for you worthless skeleton!

And the empty mind and empty heart give in to temptation. Look left and right. Leave for the heavens. And in a jiffy the soul is done. Aah!

Pearls and Pebble

It lay on the river bed, pacifying waters stirring the strings of its soul,

Opened its eyes and glanced at the sunlit sky,the colorful birds taking their flight,

The flowers all blooming at their zenith, the butterflies singing the song of life to them…..

The little pebble was happy to be, the swans all around,

The gushing waters resonating the joys of the world, the sweet smell of the lilies captivated the air

The children ran on the river bed, reminding the world of the blessings of God……

It was spring and everything was enthralling n bewitching……

But life had to run its course, the pebble was washed to the temple city,

Ah! The glimpse of the Gods brought such peace, the owners of God ashamed life,

Pebbles were many more, But pearls there were too…

It little noticed the pearls, they were not to be glanced,

The stay was brief, and the ocean waited,

The pebble was drifted to the Ocean, a place where it did not conform….

It was spring and everything was enthralling n bewitching……

The Ocean had many pearls more, white, black, coloured,

It was a mere nothing for them, so it thought,

But the pearls welcomed with friendly smiles….

It lay scared and worried, why was it there among the pearls?

A mere pebble, a mere miniscule, they almighty, they all sturdy,

It had chiselled and polished with time, but pearls, no it was a misfit…..

It was certainly not spring and nothing was enthralling n bewitching……

Lose its identity into a speck of sand as the pearls wanted,

Or tussle and struggle for its honour, pride and self respect,

The  childhood lessons to be followed or flouted in the name of practical wisdom….

It was certainly not spring and nothing was enthralling n bewitching……

Choice had to be made, but alternatives were scarce,

Be like any other pebble or strive to become a Diamond?

The lost generations beckoned for the battle, the heart encouraged to take the stride….

It wished it was spring and something was enthralling n bewitching……

The battlefield is all set, the chariot ready,

The arms all sharpened  and the strategies devised,

It cannot lose the battle, no not this one…….

It is spring once again and everything is enthralling n bewitching……

The Big Mango Tree

The Mango grove looked splendid in all its beauty. Resplendent with olive leaves, sumptuous mangoes and an aroma that seduces even the most reluctant. It was the favourite playground for the obstreperous squirrels. They loved running around the trunks….But of all there was one Big Tree that she loved the most. Its deep roots, thick trunk, extension of branches and camouflage of leaves left her awestruck everytime she visited the grove.

There was something very special about this Tree. Its branches embraced her like fatherly arms, full of warmth and unconditional love. Its leaves like the beautiful, soft, well shaped hands. She felt so secure and happy by the touch of those phalanges..Why was she so attracted by the grace of the palm? What was it that kept her glued to the very sight of those hands? Probably the dexterity of the hands insinuated the great deeds done by them in the lifetime…

The Big Old Tree was also very friendly. He would welcome her with his delectable mangoes. He would let her play in his umbrage, jump from one branch to another joyfully. Sometimes  recklessly she would destroy his leaves or break his branches! But He never grumbled. Always forgiving and smiling….He too seemed to be fond of the little brat. Every morning he would wait for her to return……

With time He too was getting old. His leaves and skin were losing their sheen. Too many squirrels on His body and He would become breathless. Was it time to bid adieu? The thought of never seeing the sight of the brat made him feel restless….He wanted to see her grow and lead a gratified life. If possible to even let her children run around Him and jump on His branches. This summer there was little flowering on the Tree. Mangoes none. The time had come so He thought. Next morning the squirrel came back enthusiastically to have a smell of the Big hands but hands there were  none….

The Big Tree had breathed His last. Still the hands looked beautiful. Warm, gentle and giving….even death could not steal them of their grace. The squirrel was confused, had never witnessed death before. She came back again next morning and the next only to see the dear Tree missing. She would play around other trees but would time and again look back at the spot where the Big Tree once stood. Foolishly she expected the Tree to return…….

Running around was never the same, playing on the branches no more fun. She kept looking for the same hands amongst other trees. But could never….Fleeting Time passed and the seasons changed. Summer again visited  and this time when she returned she had a surprise waiting for her.

On the same place where once her Big Tree stood was another tree. Almost the same deep roots, thick trunk, extension of branches and camouflage of leaves that left her awestruck .But before running on its branches she looked for the Hands. And yes this Tree had the same hands: Beautiful, soft, well shaped. The Big Tree had returned but in a new avatar. Probably He too was  worried for her so he sent the new Tree. The fun returned. Running around, gleefully playing, jumping recklessly……And Yes life was back in all its glory!

United in Separation

It is such a strange experience! Feeling happy and at peace with herself even when there is no evident reason...Looking around everything is chaotic and disturbing. Then suddenly why is she smiling all by herself? Life has been harsh very harsh indeed in the last few years. But then why this sudden grin?

Nothing seemed correct. Losing dear ones, some actually others because of their incomprehensible behavior. Blame games, accusations, back stabbing, insults, injuries- both physical and spiritual, nothing left....Life was worse than a nightmare. There seemed to be a big VOID in life that was impossible to be filled.

Hatred, angst, anger, feeling of being cheated, replaced...had all but become a part of her or rather she a part of them. Life was dragging itself, waking up in the morning without a purpose, eating lunch mechanically, smiling because it was easier than explaining tears, working robotically, lying on the bed trying to sleep with open eyes....No path no destiny! Questioning herself what did she do to deserve this and yes sometimes the Almighty.Asking where does she go now?


The question got answered sooner than expected.....You came in like a breath of fresh air from nowhere. She was completely astounded to find you at exactly the same place where she had lost herself. You holding a mirror fearlessly into her soul.Was this a signal from Him? Who were you? Why were you there? From whence you came?

Your words were a balm to her bruised soul. Was this really happening or was it a work of her imagination? Were you there or had she become completely insane? Smiles returned and this time genuine ones.She felt regaining the same self. As if her lost soul had again found way back to her body!


But certain things and people are not meant to be together physically. The period of togetherness was brief and separation looming large. She had no idea that another surprise was waiting to embrace her. Although they parted yet there were no tears this time...

Infact there was smile and a feeling of happiness. Was she happy not to be with you? Or was it something else...? Their togetherness taught her to be Happy, to smile and to love. You changed the way she looked at life! There was no sorrow, no frowns...only love and good wishes for all! Your attitude towards life had transformed her completely. She was a different person. Your love for everyone made her realise how selfless one can be. There is life beyond ones griefs and mundane troubles...Although no more together they are still united. United at a higher plane beyond human understanding and logic. You told her once how you feel good thinking of her which she could not understand then...And today ironically she too feels good thinking of you the same way! Was this destined? Did you know about it from the very beginning?

Separated and yet united in separation...How contradictory this is...You came and with your spiritual touch she is happy even being away from you...But are they really away? Has this separation ultimately united them forever........