Conversation-4

“My pale cheeks still bore evidence of tears and my heavy breath was still not in control. Mind was confounded with fluttering events of the past and the broken pieces of my dreams lay all strewn on the floor right in front of my eyes. Trembling hands refused to feel anything.”  Earth mumbled in her shaky voice.

 “And then you stood there suddenly, shining brightly from behind the clouds determined to restore my faith, my smile and zest in life. Though the mind refused to accept you succinctly, yet the soul held its own opinion. The light of the day pushed you farther but the darkness of the night pulled you closer than ever. Winds delivered cryptic messages that sent the body glowing profusely with the sweet smell of your breath.” She gasped. “I had hoped my thoughts were not reaching you that you were not listening and that the higher powers were not playing truant. But all this was happening. And now it feels precious to have something that I always subconsciously wanted without possessing even an inch of it.”  

Hearing this Moon smiled impishly in the distant plane…

Shadows

When one shadow meets another

What is it that they prattle about?

Darkness that looms large on them

Or inability of men to grasp their feelings,

Silence that deafens them each moment

Or worldly noise that forever makes no sense,

Caged lifeless bodies that can’t identify them in dim

Or their agony for being unfairly blamed for disloyalty? 

You

You give me wings to glide the sky

To nudge the stars and peck the clouds,

You let me have what I always cherished

Fearless happiness and courage in loads,

You challenge me to scrap pretentious mask

Without a thought of what they think,

But wings they are of plaint malleable wax

They melt and mould in no interim,

They curl even before I realize my dream

My delightful flight to peace and glory,

And I sit pensively basking in serenity

With fleeting thoughts in mind and soul,

Of Stars, clouds, rainbow and you…

Yes, it’s a ‘No’ this time

Since the day we open our eyes to the first smile of our parents, it is profoundly instilled in our hearts that we should never say ‘No’ to anything requested to us. As we thrive in years this teaching keeps reverberating and often influences the very choices and decisions we make during our journey. This inability to say ‘No’ opens many doors and windows say many a fable but in real life it sometimes can obstruct many gateways. One has to accede to a ‘not so pleasant request’ only because we fear disappointing the other person. We make ourselves dismal and miserable to make others cheerful. We tend to imagine that by making them smile we are raising ourselves to a higher level and getting close to the almighty. We foolishly elevate ourselves to being a demi-God. Giving ourselves sorrow to give joy to the world! But is it even remotely possible?

How can we make others happy when we are broken? Only a happy soul can share joy. Is it not better to say ‘No’ because it doesn't make you feel good? How can one say yes to something that one doesn't quite agree with? How can one pretend to be what one really is not? We keep doing and saying things only with the fear of losing someone/something. But what is the point holding on to something that can’t accept you as you are. If it is destined it will happen anyway.

Saying ‘No’ can give ample satisfaction many a time. One feels proud of not getting weak even to the strongest of temptations. One may lose the object but one really finds oneself. It needs loads and loads of courage to say ’No’ and take an honest stand. The feeling of adhering to your life-principles is much greater than the feeling of having lost the object. You can lift your head high and prove many things to others and more importantly to yourself. With time the object, if it really is worth, will also respect you for your integrity. If it doesn't, then it was never worth.

One ‘No’ makes you lose one object but it draws so many other positive things towards you. Your self-respect, pride, confidence and love for yourself. It is in our cultural values to not disappoint others, but it is equally important to not disappoint ourselves first. No matter how priced the object is in worldly terms, nothing can beat the value of your own conscience. So get up, take a stance and learn to say ‘No’ to things you don’t agree with. One ‘No’ can open the road to so many ‘Yes’.

 Yes, it’s a ‘No’ this time !!

Conversation-3

“I just hope you are not listening, that my words and thoughts aren't reaching you, that the Higher powers aren't playing truant, that your soul is no more connected to mine.” The Earth murmured.

 Exactly at that moment something inside the far away Moon just felt a little seething pain, cryptic hurt and Gordian emptiness. Despite distance, physical and even emotional this time, something still sew them together. Despite mutual resistance, something still clutched them together. Both had decided to free each other of the ever hovering pain of several life-times this time.

 “I wish we never meet again, never see eye to eye, and never brush past against each other. The fear of facing you again scares my spirit. I fear losing control and melting by the sheer gaze of your warm eyes. Fear being swamped in the storm of your emotions. But as you revolve, coming closer yet again seems inevitable. Neither of us wants it, but We will meet again. It’s not over yet. I know that…. You know it too.”

 She glared into the star lit sky sadly; remorsefully… hoping beyond hopes that meeting never happens. 

Yes, I can

Can hear it in chimes

Can feel it in sunshine

Can smell it in flowers

Can flow with it in winds

Can see it glow in lamp

Can inhale it in breath

Can touch it all around

Can speak it in prayers

Yes,

 I can…

Semblance

Sipping rapturously like

Last few drops in the mug,

Gathering memories like broken pieces

Of the favourite painting,

Holding on hope like

Traveler on a drowning ship,

Waiting perilously like a lady

With beau gone on war…

My World

With a cup of tea beside me

And loosely strewn sheets on table

Loud obscure voices of the people

Screeching sound of elusive fans

Tip tap of eloquent keyboards

Intermittent ringtones of mobiles

Some random nebulous thoughts

Come knocking yet again

Like playful impish cohorts

And I descend into my ludicrous world….

Touch

Touch of velvet moony silk

Crimson satin sheer glow

Wind from warm virgin sea

Nimble, gentle, serene, coy

Hustling greens in the woods

Inching breath closer to life

Search

In search of food, hunger was lost

In search of goal, vision was annihilated

In search of passion, love was ruined

In search of belongings, feelings got lapsed

In search of a living, life got consumed

In search of God, humanity got squandered

Red Frock

Everytime I see you standing there

Peeking shyly from behind

The timeless hanger of life

Those dreamy eyes, serene smile

Red frock, wanting to talk to me

Meeting me when I am alone

Alone with my thoughts and breath

Reminding me of harmless pranks

Prodding me to stop crawling and fly

Fly because I have wings of desire

Because that’s what I always wanted,

But everytime I try to touch you

You melt into my childhood

And keep me waiting for another hour

When again,

I am alone with my thoughts and breath

Stones

Alone in deep dark forest single ray of morning sun

Catches glimpse of naked eye and dispels gloom

Compelling her to drop stones held in palm for long,

Night moon coaxing to pick them up gently once more

Hold in hands, closer to bosom caressingly

For morning sun shall knock tomorrow

And urge her to open her palm again….

Conversations-2

Like flash you cross the mind

Inadvertently, unwittingly

Cardinal as quintessential Soul

Reminisces of my being

Breathing you, guzzling you

Grain by grain, drop by drop

Intoxicates the body

Flusters the mind

And makes pain look

So delectable …

Snow Clad Hill

White snow clad hill insidiously

Pines to be lustrous diamond,

Oblivious that every dawn and dusk

When virgin rays of Red-yellow Sun

Smack its summit fondly

It shimmers in such radiance,

That even coveted Kohinoor

Wishes to be in its place…

The Eternal

Isn't it trite to remain eternal?

No red, no yellow, no blue,

No rainbow, no sunshine, no rain

Simply altering the attire

Time in and time out

Pretending to be ignorant

Of your friends and foes

Masking to be unscathed by pain

And not revel in happiness

Flowing like an untamed rivulet

Weathering off, wearing off

With the aim to get chiseled

More polished, more sightly

To form the idle effigy.

Tryst with Light every time

Obliterating all after each episode

Embracing, groping in darkness

Endeavoring again for rendezvous

Recognizing others and yet

Not being able to elicit

Inner voice coaxing all along

Outside seeking for rationale

Coming together by chance and severing

Again together, again going astray

The unending pursuit

The everlasting search

Isn't it trite to remain eternal?

Walking on the Wooden Bridge

Walking on the wooden bridge

I question the wise night air

If the twinkling stars

Around the narcissist moon

Flatter him

Just as humans

Flatter those in power

With false giggles and

Honey coated tongues?

Walking on the wooden bridge

I question drops of rain

If the boastful moon

Pretends not to understand

Just as humans

The false wagging of tails

And servile folded hands?

Walking on the wooden bridge

I question my curious self

If the moon will never

Shove the evil clouds

Just as humans

Their mendacious egos

And will night never drowse?

Will Sun never waken?

Walking on the wooden bridge….

Separation

Simmering pain gashing

Through white flesh and heart,

Delirious emptiness pervading

Obdurately refusing to satiate,

In the primeval combat of life

Why does togetherness always succumb?

Why does bestial severance always succeed?

Leader

Hue of Dahlia and Luster of Sun

Gaiety of Stream and Grit of Wind

Purity of Fire and Vivacity of Bud

Mind of Buddha and Reverie of Vivekanand

Altruism of God and Heart of Gold

Silence

Conversations

The fervid Lake looked at the Moon , ‘As I see it inside myself, exact reflection of me on the outside. As if it was I. Breathing the same air, seeing the same temple, walking the same staid. Not bothered of what lay strewn around. Just humming your own song, whistling away the worries of mundane life. Gaze so stark as if you have something on your mind, something that you have decided. Feeling heavy deep inside still not letting it out.’

 The moon looked pensive as he listened. She continued fervently, ‘Ample reasons to hold you back yet letting you go. For I never possessed you for even once. So You shall stay with me forever…’

He

Permeating alchemy

From Precipice to Notch

From blue yonder to Brine

Stirring Pigeon and Swan

Flurrying hearts

Healing anguish

Fastening all with yarn

Benign hands, gracious spirit

Divine

Caress of wet dew on lotus

Pouring beauty on divine

Pecking melody to lyrics

Jazzing sparkle to shine

Ensconcing moon on blue vault

Endowing life to time

Happiness

Winds naughtier, Sun cosier

Birds chirpier, Flowers happier

Breath sunnier, Steps fluffier

Food tastier, Drink intoxier

Heart more hopeful, Gods more merciful 

My Soldier

Image darting through mind

Reminding of laughter shared

Tears secretly veiled from

Naked eyes of the other

You were I

I were you

Indomitable love for life

Fear feared to exist

Wadding through virulent life

With song on lips, scarf cuddling neck

You were I

I were you

Your arms clasping me

Your words prompting life

My pranks being ignored

My mistakes forgiven

You were I

I were you

Sleep not sleepy

Peace not peaceful

You struggling still there

To keep my smile intact

You were I

And...

I still you

Petite Lads

As tears pluck me, Your cherubic smile lends hope

When life refuses to drift, Your little hands propel me

As darkness envelopes, Your dazzling eyes kindle me

When reality becomes strident, Your dreams ameliorate me

As silence broodingly rumbles, Your laughter calms me

When spirit loses tenacity, Your soul galvanizes me

Chums

Grayish- green glistening pebbles

Luxuriating the friendly tap

Of milky pearly water

Far off Winds frolicking with stream

Rewarding soft, warm, friendly tickles

On the cold, moving jaunty gush

Sun peeking snoopishly somewhere

From behind the orangish clouds

Silent witness since many moons

To the union of venerable friends

Verity

When cipher is entirety

And words are prodigal

When reality is a farce

And truth much beyond

Vanilla Faces impeccable masks

Swindling self and Idol

Jungle gauntly reclusive

Tree bloomingly populated

When the fish childishly revels

Its golden reflection in serene lake

And the lake savors its sedate image

In the impish blue eyes of the fish

Heaviness

That seething seeping heaviness

That transpires between the two

Unconsciously unknowingly

From one breath to another

Like exchange of lost baggage

Oozing droplets of slime

Unspoken yet heard aloud

Not sent yet quantum received

Held firmly, closely to pounding bosom

Yet loose, yet wildly untamed

Undeterred

Trail to Light

The quest for trail to light

That eventuates from tussle

In one mother’s doting womb

Vexates through the web of life

And terminates tranquilly

In another mother’s benevolent lap

The Quest

“Really? Oh, thank you so much.”

           Sometimes we are taken by surprise by the compliments others give us. We meet so many people at all kinds of unexpected places; Traffic lights, streets, elevators, metros, malls, roads, workplace, temples, hospitals…

Some just brush past us, whereas others seem to remain etched a bit longer in our memory. Some are like air. They barely seem to touch us. Others are like shadow, hazy but our very own reflection. Something about them makes us feel as if they are known to us since eons. They see in us that which none could, not even us. We may not recognize each other’s visage. But the soul never falters. It instantly recognizes the past linkage though the mind takes time to take cognizance.

Reaching out has always been challenging. It takes a lot of courage to reach out to the star but even more to strike the right chord with the one. There are tests and hurdles that one has to cruise. But it is only this tribulation that makes getting your star worth trying. More enduring the journey, more enjoyable is the destiny. Nothing has ever been accomplished easily.

One has to keep faith. Eventually the right things will fall into place and then all the prevailing confusion will make sense.

Joy

Smile refuses to elope

The cherry moistened lips

Gleam remains unscathed

In the deep charcoal eyes

Soul exuding aroma

Of the flowers of paradise

Thoughts render beatitude

Never experienced before

Breath a gift from heavens

Dreams bestowing life

Beauty of Thought

From where they began

Where they shall end

Mind is confounded

By the beauty of thought

Not exterior, attachment goes

Profound than that

A part of her that flows in him

A part of him that nourishes her

Rocks and boulders that preclude

Flowers and grass that spur

Distance no more separates

Pain no more agonizes

Fear of getting close

Inner scuffle to evade

Where they are

And where they shall go

Mind is confounded

By the beauty of thought

Veins

Blue veins never meet

They never caress

They don’t even gawk each other

Though same blood replenishes them

Then why this seething spasm

Why that desolate emptiness

Why that haunting angst

When one goes remote

Little remote from the other?

Departure

Every time the wave relinquishes the shore

It tears away a pound of her heart with it

Bequeathing an anguished vacuum deep within

Never to be copious again

Apollo- The Warrior

Specter stirring veraciously; In the shadow of night

 Tiger whizzing past; The clabbered tropical jungle

With streamlined carcass; And vision focused

Startling both assailant; And confidante alike

Strong, ambitious, disciplined; Acrid, draconian, menacing

But emotional, just, fair; Large-hearted, amicable, No!

No?...  Oh yes!

Dove perched on shoulders, Only to realize He too is a man

But Man- extraordinaire

Warriors there have been many, None like him

Heart of Gold and Spirit of the Masters

Leading men in all wars and battles stoutly

Venturing where men fear to tread even in dreams

Smile so tender, would melt a stone

Eyes so loving, would infest any vault

O’ Warrior! Live long

For only you make the Gods forgive

And induce them to bless mankind

All over Again!

Honesty

Honesty is a difficult principle to follow and even more difficult to accept. There are all kinds of people around us. Some are brave others not so brave, some happy others not so happy, some curious others not so curious, some dishonest others honest to the core. Very often honesty needs a brave spirit and a daring heart. Not everyone has the ability to either accept the truth or even say the truth.

In the crowd of not so brave people are some foolishly daringly honest ones. Lying is not their way of life. No matter how big a price they have to pay, they will stick by the path of honesty. Fools, that’s what the wise world calls them. Why does a whistle blower reveal the truth despite being fully aware of the drastic repercussions? One truth and the stolid life structure comes crashing down in no time. When there are so many live examples of people who spoke the truth and suffered immensely, sometimes even paid through their lives, then why do ‘fools’ still speak the truth.

As soon as one has the compunction to be honest, every breath becomes heavy as a hill. There is so much restlessness that the ‘fool’ can’t do a single task normally. The urge to cause self destruction becomes so large that the ‘fool’ runs on the way to self infliction.

Honesty doesn't come cheap. It carries a very heavy price tag. You gather herculean amount of courage to pour your heart out and suddenly with the slightest knock of honesty at the door, the ‘Star’ vanishes like dust in the galaxy. One loses even what one initially had. The ‘fool’ had thought that truth will improve things but contrarily it deforms life beyond repair. It is left alone only with pain as a companion.

Streak

When your resplendence

Streaks my murk

Obscurity peters out

And the path is again clarion

Moon

There are a billion of them

All strewn over the firmament

But its only when you

Her Moon

Glimmer in her arms

That mist is allayed

And the whole incoherence

Mutates into a celestial melody 

Shadow

I perch as luscious incense of lily

Your smirks as mine

And tears all the more,

Condone raucous words of kin

Sweaty sinews of hard work

Dying a little inside every time

With memory of Beloved’s touch

Longing to see the angelic face

Agony to make a place here

To prove myself at every step

Prick of thorns and touch of dew

Joy of meeting friends

Pain of saying good byes

Awful loneliness diminishing soul

Urge to speak to cherished one

Never asked how I feel

Assumed I am flourishing

Just like you…

Can I be blamed for leaving you?

If only you can’t see me

In murk silently amidst throes

 I am there just beside you,

But did you fling little harder?

Perhaps for me just one more time

In your darkest hour

And you shall catch me

This time

Standing next to you… devotedly